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Drinking Toasts and Sayings.




These are a collection of toasts and some other sayings all on the subject of drinking. You never know when they may come in handy, so cast a few to memory for the time when someone at some social gathering will ask you to "say a few words..."


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When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we are asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

--Old Irish toast.


Best while you have it, use your breath;
There is no drinking after death.


Doh! A Beer! I want a beer...
Ray, the guy who buys me beer.
Me, the guy whom Ray buys beer...
Far, the way to go for beer.
So, I think I'll have a beer,
La, la la la la la la.
Tea? No thanks, I'll have a beer...
And that brings us back to Doh! doh! Doh!

--Homer Simpson.


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For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, a cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.


On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille.


Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.


Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

--Winston Churchill.


A favourite of mine, again by Churchill, whom when accused by an opposition MP in the house of commons of being drunk replied:
"And the Right Honourable Lady is ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning."


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Payday came, and with it beer.

--Kipling.


Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

--Oscar Wilde.


I've drank to your health with others,
I've drank to your health alone.
I've drank to your health so many times,
That I've almost ruined my own.

--Admiral Bull Halsey.


Drinkers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your money, your woman, your liver, your kids, your sanity, your job....

--Anon.


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