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Ummm, when I was younger I drunk too much cider and filled a sink with vomit. Can't touch the stuff now, but I suppose I can bring myself to write something here. Eventually.

Ok, lets have some brewers. Like Scrumpy Jack. Their web page says they are the UK's Premium Cider. Emma says so, so its probably true.

Then, of course, there is Strongbow. More to the site than Scrumpy Jack (although the latter is being updated at the end of March '99) with all their products, related sites, parties, trade enquiries, and even a link to Two Dogs if you are aged 12 or less.

The Cider Surfers Arms. No, really....

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Em's Cider Review.

Never mind all that gubbins earlier on in this page - Emma's ultimate cider guide, nestling amongst the protective shrouds of The Beermonsters Guide to Alcoholic Beverages, is now a reality. Read on for cider enlightenment... (or just coz its quite good, actually...)

First off, there is a complicated ratings system that you must understand:

Scrumpy Jack.

Made from mostly apples, this is a marvellous tipple. It's tangy, fruity, refreshing and pretty dangerous. Easy to drink, a couple of pints go down nicely but you may be surprised at your lack of co-ordination upon standing.


My second favourite after SJ, it is fruity and refreshing, but not too sweet and with a pleasant aroma. It tastes equally good on draught or from the offy. It's also good for beginners.

Dry Blackthorn.

It is dissapointing to enter a pub that has only this one on offer. It smells of, and has an after taste of, beer, which I find a bit nasty. It is very dry, and is hard on the stomach lining. Tolerable in pubs, but don't buy it in cans or bottles.

Diamond White.

If you're older than 15 you will probably have stopped drinking this liquid that may very well strip paint, so god knows what it does to your insides. Likely to induce vomiting in the smallest of amounts, it smells and tastes foul. Diamond blush has added blackcurrant which makes it easier to cope with, although this is not available in many places.


Only tried this once. I expected it to be horrible at 6% alcohol, but it was surprisingly pleasant. Went well with curry, and also comes in trendy blue glass bottles, which is nice!

Bulmers Olde English.

Can be slightly cloudy, but don't let this worry you too much. It's a slightly too sweet taste for me, and can be a bit flat (although that may be the pubs fault).


Real Scrumpy comes in a variety of containers, is usually very cloudy and quite sweet. It is brewed only in the West Country. Be afraid - be very afraid. It's not for nothing that the Cornish pint glass holds about 50ml! Avoid this if you want the top of your head to remain where it is.

Strongbow Ice.

Slightly stronger but less taste than the normal Strongbow. If there are only bottles available, it's the one to go for.


This brew is a strange orangey colour, but smells fairly nice. I personally wouldn't go for it, but it's quite popular. It has a nice fruity taste with an after - tang and is quite sweet.

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